Hopeless romantic

I really like him

or maybe love him

Self thought

I always act upon what I want without thinking...

I'm 17

Didn't do what I wanted...

But my boyfriend came over :)

one of wishes were granted

AA Flea Market

Best shopping experience ever :)

Don't you just love cake?

I know I DO ! :)

I's made it

Flutter part ll

Another white butterfly flew past me yesterday.... :)

Surrrprise!

I've been receiving subliminal blessings from various amounts of my friends

For example, my friend Eddie is aware of my infatuation for pupusas

He astonished me with 3 home cooked ones from his mom

I shrieked with smiles and replied with a thank you

Previous days ago a girl at my school that I don't consider my friend,

surprised me with a domo doll keychain that brought tears to my eyes! :DDDDD

She told me she over heard me in a conversation once before speaking about how much

I want a domo kun plush toy

So she took the consideration to buy one especially for me

I felt so floored and appreciative of her thoughtfulness

So it is a must that I exchange a gift with her as well :)

I have no clue what has brought me these blessings but I am truly thankful

I believe "patience is virtue "then

Flutter

Two white butterflies flew by me twice the past couple of days

White means pureness, innocence, fortune

Hopefully it means well for me

Detached

I feel disconnected when we speak

His electric outlet goes short while my plug is hungering for his love

No matter how much I question him about his love for me

I will never truly know how he feels

I no longer accept his promises because of the lies he's created in the past

I don't comprehend why I love him unconditionally

He continuously throws rocks at my previously broken window

But never attempts to climb through

I have a new found lover that shelters me with everything I need

But "he's" what I want

'Love'ly faces

Riding the bus today, I witnessed a couple sound asleep on each other's shoulders

I gazed for a good 5 minutes

Contemplating how tranquil they appeared

She laid on his shoulder with her leg wrapped over his

He held her closely with his cheek upon her scalp

He inhaled then exhaled softly blowing her strands of hair

For some reason true love bloomed from their faces

I hope to find a significant other to share that love with

9.9.10.11.09

Can we talk about school? How about no

Just kidding , I have an abundance of topics I can share

My classes are pretty chill and hasty, considering the fact that I only have 5 periods! I'm awesome

My ex is also in majority of my classes, hrmph (embarrassed face)

My classes: AP Literature, Hnrs Economics, AP Statistics, Digital imaging, and AP Psychology

The only class I didn't receive was cooking. Thumbs down for my counselor

I appreciate but resent my teachers at the same time for overloading me with homework in the beginning days of school. ugh

It's overstimulating doing homework from the moment I walk into my room until the sun sets

But hey, it's a preparation for college

In my AP Literature class, my teacher interviewed the class collectively with questions based on love, fate, religion, and family

The love questions were the most excruciating- I was sitting directly in front of my ex. fml

Metaphorically speaking, most of my answers weren't referred to him, I think =/

He's my lover

But you're my soulmate...

Class of 2010

It's surreal knowing that school is 18+ hours away...(yess I counted haha)

Summer is to an end.

I'm only stoked about my classes(Psychology and hopefully cooking in particular),

and upcoming senior activities :)

Then I am officially OUT of high school moving onto my adult life =p

...............

I went on a date with a friend from school

A little weird

We ran into a handful of friends from school

They all stared at us with stunned faces haha

I never knew how close-minded society was about interracial couples =/

Black guys flipped out when they witnessed me with him

The Smiths

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I'm tired and I
I want to go to bed

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
And then leave me alone
Don't try to wake me in the morning
'Cause I will be gone
Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I will feel so glad to go


Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore


Sing to me
Sing to me
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore


Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I really want to go


There is another world
There is a better world
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well ...


Bye bye
Bye bye
Bye ...

Repetitive life

I don't think I'm going to prom.

No date.

I don't think I'm going to have a social life

No friends

I don't think I'm going to have a love life

No love

I don't think I'm going to have a life

No desire to live

This isn't going to be a great year again- I feel it.

Hurry up 2o12, Hurry the fuck up.

The stork delivered my babies

Yaay my babies arrived.

I am soo ecstatic

These are my second pair of minnetonka boots

I've been wanting and desiring to have these boots for 2 years

Got them on sale- 6o% off :D

But I have to lace them up myself, I'm not that great with lacing shoes

The ones I own

Soon I will have these in my possession as well :)

Usually on my spare time

aHaha I enjoy taking silly online quizzes that sometimes have accurate predictions of your personality or fate

It amuses me =D

* Put your itunes/ipod on shuffle

* For each question, press the next button to get your answer

* You must write the song no matter on silly it sounds

1. If someone says "is this okay" you say?

Ex-girlfriends make great writing material

2. what would best describe your personality?

you know what- ;)

3. what do you like in a guy/girl?

what's your take on cassavettes

4. How do you feel today?

True love waits

5. What is your life's purpose?

Put some pep in your step

6. What is your motto?

Stress Def!!!- thanx justice -_-

7. what do your friends think of you?

Look back at me

8. What do you think about very often?

Heart songs

9. What is 2+2?

Mr. ambulance driver

10. What do you think of your best friend?

Everyone nose

11. What do you think of the person you like?

Loving and Caring- haha cute :)

12. What is your life story?

Party all over your body

13. What do you want to be when you get older?

Screamer- can you get paid for that?

14. What do your parents think of you?

Fuck a niggas thoughts- lmao

15. What will you dance to at your wedding?

Happy

16. What will they play at your funeral?

Mojo pin

17. What is your hobby/interest?

Love making- lol umm...=x

18. What is your biggest secret?

Yeah you

19. what do you think of your friends?

Would you mind

20. What's the worst thing that could happen?

Leave

21. How will you die?

DJ Whore- hopefully it doesn't result from AIDS

22. What is the one thing you regret?

Vanished

23. What makes you laugh?

Fur in my cap

24. What makes you cry?

unstoppable

25. Will you get married?

Sky may fall

26. What scares you most?

Technologic

27. Does anyone like you?

How to disappear completely

28. If you could go back in time, what would you change?

Ataraxia- nice answer

29. what hurts right now?

P*ssy killer- lmfao

Anybody hear me?

It's terrible to know that I rely on a computer fro advice =/

Looking up inspirational advice to pep up my step

"How to get over him" -I'm in desperate need.

No more ribbons in the sky

I found this journal entry( yes I keep journals; I'm always thinking so I have to write everything that comes to mind) I forgot to type on here from weeks and weeks ago...

I'm very content.

I noticed this later this weekend while I was in vegas.

I am more humble and modest about life.

I no longer linger on certain blissful occurrences and I am no longer overwhelmed with life.

I'm widely mellow.

I enjoy this feeling considering the fact that it provides tranquility with my spirit.

written on 24.7.09

It is now 29.8.09

I am not feeling that way at all.

I feel numb

blank

confused

and lifeless

not great feelings at all haha

I feel this way because the sky no longer speaks to me

In my younger years I would look up to the sky and feel a sense of hope, faith, and warmth

Viewing it today brought me the contrary: sadness, despair, and gloom

I sighed pondering about what's left of us today.... sadly nothing

A slave for love...yours in particular

I feel like a run away slave for an escape from your torment I call "love"

I feel beat up after taking another punch to the face when he said "I can't go"

This is the second time he flaked on me

So I retaliated by telling him I no longer want to see him and I wasn't in love with him

It may seem as if I'm over reacting, but I'm not

I'm just officially fed up

I've been intimately speaking to this guy for an ongoing 14 months

and we still haven't established a committed relationship

So I feel lost, confused, misled, and emotionally taken advantage of

We met on June 24th, 2oo8 and hit it off from there

Everything was smooth until he broke my heart with his manipulative lies, deceitfulness, and his in denial thoughts

I honestly felt I was severely in love with this person

As he says he's in love with me

I no longer believe it

After all the mental abuse I tolerated this past year

I continuously tell myself "he's not worth it" "it's not meant to be" "move on"

But it's hard for me to initiate what my thoughts are telling me

I follow my heart instead and risk being hurt again

I guess I just love to hard =/

First MJ now the birds...?

A bird's nest fell from my rooftop killing 3 innocent babies :(

Food network wannabe

So today I was ecstatic to make my first "Food Network recipe"

Until I discovered a let down.

Some moron put the croissants in the freezer :(

I was going to prepare the infamous Pigs in a blanket lol

So I had no other alternative to defrosting them

So I popped them into the microwave

They inflated into big marshmallows

I'm very upset.

But this is how they turned out :

Not exactly like the cooking lady's on food network

But they're powerfully delicious :D

I survived 8 dreadful months

November 13th, 2008 was the day my sister turned off my internet on my phone

As you all know the Sidekick needs the internet in order to live!

I wasn't even able to listen to ringtones -_-, that's how mandatory the internet is.

So today I got my texting/internet back on . YAAAY!

So aim up and send me continuous texts. I will appreciate them more than before haha

-------------------

I didn't know I had so much shit in my notes. Such as: poems, quick thoughts (my mind never stops), inspirational quotes, and just bullshit. haha

But it was amusing and impressive to reread how my mind thought in the past.

Just for your curiosity, I'll provide you some samples. :)

POEMS:

Breathe

I already learned how to breathe

Listen to my heart as I inhale

No more worries no more regrets

Everything is gunna be alright

I experienced it all in my past

Wondering if I'll ever last

But I'm still standing strong

I can face it all

What is love? where is love? How is love suppose to be?

I don't know the answers to any of these questions because I never heard the word or felt that way

Is love when someone hurts you over and over again? Or is it supposed to make you feel accepted? Or wanted?

Unresolved thoughts of what my life should be

Everything around me seems like a faded memory

Views about life are full of void and selfishness

No one turns to empathize or have compassion for one another.

Where are you when I need you? Do you hear my cries at night? Or do you just ignore me?

Why can't everything be fair and settle like a warm spring.

Take my hand and promise me everything will be alright.

Take my hand and never say goodnight.