Channy

I miss him tremendously.

We only say hi or bye, and if I'm lucky, we'll have a 60 sec conversation.

It's pretty difficult to get through to him. I believe he's afraid of being hurt again (by me).

If only he knew how much I DO care for him and wonder how he feels.

Obviously he doesn't.

I basically feel stuck.

He's too vague to me. Which is frustrating. But yet I still have a pinch of patience.

I have a sense of why he could possibly be so distant and detached from me.

.........................

yaay. a nice start.

My friend Tina helped me out by plucking out some hints from him.

She had my ipod and surprised him with a picture of me.

Her: " does this seem familiar"

He just shrugged and asked who's ipod it was.

She told him and he schemed through my songs in curiousity.

Well at least he said we have the same interest in music. haha

I hope he didn't notice the playlists labeled "channy" and "channy made it"

How embarrassing. haha

Sigh, Well hopefully things can fall into place smoothly.....

Discovery in 90 degrees

Sunny hot day.

Cute checkered sundress.

Buffalo Exchange.

then had it my way at Burger King.

Today was a chill and comfortable day.

I finally escaped the house after 2 deserted weekends at home. ugh.

I did a little shopping at Buffalo Exchange with 'Darius'

and discovered 4 cute tops for great prices. =)

........

I learned so much about myself and Darius today.

Learning that I'm a demanding girl that knows what she wants, speedy with her wit, and goofy with her sense of humor

Learning that Darius is a southern boy with style who can relate to most things that others can't understand.

Just sum to it all up, since I gotta go.

night.

SleepyHead

I'm soooo sleepy.

I'm so sleepy that my eyelids do feel like I have sand bags resting on them.

I wanna count 2o sheep and imagine warm colors for them. Purple...red...blue...yellow

I wanna talk to him. So his voice and presence on the phone can soothe me to sleep.

Throw me a pillow so I can fall sleep. -_-

Staycation

Returned to school on Monday.

From a looong and agonizing spring break.

My agenda was waking up, watching t.v., eating every now and then, and calling people to see if they were on break. That was an unsuccessful task. Everyone was at school being students. ugh

Well at least im well rested and rejuvanted to begin this week.

Things are pretty smooth and chill at school. I like.

Lets see how long this will last at Grant...

UnMasking the truth

Dear African-Americans,

or "niggas" as we all would say. Haha idk about you guys and I'm very disappointed

in what we haven't proved or achieved.

The only achievement we made to ourselves is humiliation.

Anyways my whole purpose of writing this blog is to announce that "black people are ignorant"

sorry if I may come off harsh, I'm just being blunt.

It's about time someone speaks out, so therefore I'm taking initiative.

I am black and I'm proud of what I am and the history I'm part of.

As MLK, Malcolm X, James Brown, and some African-Americans would say, "Black is beautiful."

African-Americans have misconceptions of everything.

We believe confidence is being cocky or "flyer than the rest" and having lighter skin

or finer hair is beautiful.

We think having material things and flashy whips are reflections of wealth and success.

When will we ever wake up and stop smelling the roses and smell reality?

Don't you understand that we're the minority? There's not many opportunities

in the near future.

Now that we have an African-American president doesn't mean we have an easy alternative

through prosperity.

He's an indication that "we can" be in that position he is in.

Tiny black sheep

I feel unworthy.

I love too hard and receive nothing in return

but a punch in the heart.

School doesn't make it any better.

Everyone seems so indifferent and superficial.

which aggravates me even more.

I just want to fly away into my own clouds or share a flight with a loved one.

But I can't seem to discover that anywhere.

Hmmm...maybe my life is mistaken for someone else's.

Maybe God accidently placed me on earth.

I seem unaccepted wherever I take foot.....